OLD - SOULED AS OLEANDER

Now the excellent thing about working from home in the upstairs office is opening the window, climbing out onto the roof on an achingly lovely autumn morning, doing some cloud gazing, and watching an eccentric neighbor from a distance mount a ladder against a trampoline, climb it, fall into the trampoline once, and carefully place the ladder back up again. Trampoline Test.

•  Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day green cleaning products are frigging awesome! Am partial to the lavendar and geranium scents (Although the geranium really smells like rose water which is lovely but then why would you call it geranium scented? And who the heck knows what geraniums smell like?)
• Most of the time lemon juice, distilled vinegar, and baking soda are all you need for general cleaning
• Chevre (goat cheese) is best cut with unwaxed, unflavored / unscented floss
• If you have a mate that snores at night, fidget with growing intensity until they shift to their side and allow you to achieve shut-eye
• A couple cups of whole milk in the bath not only exfoliates and moisturizes, but also brightens your skin
• If you share a large office with men make sure to bring deodorizing spray with you if you don't fancy traces of BO to linger in your nostrils after a few hours of work
• If you have shoulder length hair or longer and are lazy as I am, pull your hair into a twisted chignon when towel-dried after a shower than let loose once dry for pretty daggone sexy, wavy hair for the least effort
• Plain yoghurt and honey make wonderful, cheap, and healthy facial masks. The yoghurt shrinks the appearance of pores and brightens the skin; honey is a natural humectant which pulls moisture into your skin leaving it glowing and supple
• For the love of god, keep a small store of dark chocolate for emergencies
• Take a cue from the French and really pare down your wardrobe. Necessity doesn't have to be the mother of invention-- your brain and imagination can fill that role. Stop unnecessary clothes / accessory shopping and shop your closet instead.  Don't know how to look good with what you have? Do research! There are books and websites and magazines to learn from.
• The man is responsible for taking the trash out. Not negotiable!
• Surround yourself with music, especially when doing chores you find repulsive. Like laundry. Or pop in a good movie. Or have your husband give you a puppet show.
• Don't drink enough water? Leave out iced water in an attractive glass pitcher with slices of cucumber, lime, lemon, or sprigs of mint.
• Resolve to feel good about yourself every day-- wear sexy, matching panties / bra if you're a girl, dab on Chanel No. 5 even when you're just going for a groceries run, pamper yourself with a long bath, give your man a great massage. If you're a guy, give your seat at the metro, hold the door open for strangers, grow balls and actually talk to the girl you like. 
• Bake your own bread. You'll taste a world of difference.
• Always use sea salt for cooking and dining
• Find out what Clafoutis is, make it for friends, and soak up the impressed looks you get from them for essentially pouring a simple batter over fruit and leaving it in the oven for a short time
• Soju tastes like garbage but is the perfect accompaniment to karaoke
• Do not try sleeping in a hammock all night long
• Do not try having sex in a hammock
• Remember that there is a marvelous thing called Pinky and the Brain

Dane comes bounding from his upstairs office to see me, wrapping me into a tight hug, asking: